How To Stop Self-Betrayal
What is self-betrayal?
Why would you even betray yourself?
As mentioned in the previous blog “Focus On Yourself. Is “Bad” Or Selfish?” the majority of people in our world forgot how to put themselves first and constantly worry about the external world, wanting to fit in and hoping to avoid rejection or confrontation from other people by “betraying themselves”
That being said a lot of the people actually do experience self-betrayal without even realizing this because it became pretty much part of their “normal” daily life.
Let’s look into some of the signs of “self-betrayal” and if you’re noticing some of them in yourself?
Before we jump into signs, let’s give a “self-betrayal” quick definition.
“Self-betrayal” (for me) is an action or the lack of it of an individual that prioritizes others before himself in order to “stay safe” and avoid “confrontation” versus staying in integrity to himself and aligned with his vision, goals and life values.
Pretty straight forward – you either stay in your lane or you make others “more important” so that you don’t “run” into problems.
And here are some of the signs that it may be showing up in your life.
#1 People Pleasing
Do you find yourself always trying to be nice?
Always saying “YES “when somebody needs something from you?
Not speaking up so that you don’t upset anyone?
Trying to meet other people expectations?
No matter how important or not important are your own desires and projects – if something comes up – you’ll always put others into the “more important” section?
Is this you?
Well, my friend then you are a people-pleaser 🤷♀️
Don’t get me wrong – there’s nothing wrong with wanting to make other people happy, but when on continuing basis trying to make others happy is at the cost of your own happiness and forth – then this becomes an “issue”.
What To Do About It
First of all – pay attention to your behaviour.
What are the areas of life, maybe specific people or scenarios where you tend to betray yourself?
Next, when you have identified the pattern then it’s easier to catch yourself on it when the next time it comes up.
So when you find yourself in the situation when you’re about to say “Yes” to something that you don’t want (saying “yes” only to avoid uncomfortableness)…
BREATHE
Ask yourself a question in your mind: “Is this is really something I want to do?
Is this something that feels good to me? Is this aligned with my values?”
If the answer is “No” you have all the rights to say “No” and politely decline.
#2 Healthy Boundaries
Or the lack of them.
Think about the situation when someone did something and you thought to yourself:
“Wow, this is so rude” or “Omg, how he/she could do something like this?!”
What did you do?
If you just smiled and suppressed your emotions, thinking: “It’s okay, not a big deal.
I’m not going to complain and be a problem…”
And then the situation happens again and again and you still tolerate it and tolerate it without saying anything, even though it really upsets or hurts you.
Again, a huge sign of self-betrayal😬
What To Do About It
Don’t be afraid to speak up.
Other people behaviour is not your responsibility and has nothing to do with who you are.
If you don’t stand up for yourself – no one will. And people will just continue to use you🤷♀️
It also might be quite possible that people are not even aware that they are doing something “wrong” because it’s just part of their identity.
Speaking up doesn’t have to be “aggressive” and doesn’t make you a “bad” person.
It just means that you are somebody who knows what they want, what is acceptable and unacceptable for them. Communicating in a healthy way and asking for something not to be directed your way anymore is just a normal request that any human being has the rights to do.
Again, doing this is a healthy way.
Without pointing finger, but rather communicating what & why you won’t accept this anymore and thanking another person for understanding.
We are all just humans, trying to do our best here 🙂
The premier online training program
for Lightbringers, with Tiffany Tin!
Learn the 5 major lineages of light languages, practice channelling, and stand in your power
to be in service to SOURCE.
#3 Lack Of Self-Worth
This one is rather a reason for self-betrayal than a sign, but it’s a pretty good indicator if you constantly feel that other people are more important than you, because it is YOU who has no value and “that’s who I am”, “who is going to listen to me” etc.
If you’re feeling this way – this will show you that you tend to put others on the pedestal and make yourself “less than”, not just because of you “don’t want to get in trouble”, but because you (well, your limiting beliefs) think that you don’t deserve any better.
What To Do About It
Work on your confidence and self-worth.
You have rights to be loved and have exactly what you want as anyone in this Universe.
But it is your perception of yourself that will determine either you’ll allow yourself to receive that which you want or you won’t.
You are enough just because you exist.
Period.
If you have deep engraved limiting beliefs around your worthiness – I suggest you work with a coach or a mentor who has been where you are because it is quite challenging to suddenly step away from your patterns and imagine something new on your own (not impossible), but it will be much quicker & easier when there’s somebody who can give you a “reality check” and pull you out of your BS limiting beliefs.
Definitely give a read of one of our blogs “How To Build Confidence & Self-Worth” and “Awakened Confidence” course by Stephanie Pierucci.
This will give you a good starting point in undoing your limiting beliefs and unleashing your True Inner Being 🙂
There are definitely more ways of how “self-betrayal” may show up in your life, but these are the most common ones.
Do you tend to put others first or you just feel it is you who doesn’t deserve better?
Let us know what do you need support most with right now so that we create content and bring you the right experts 🙂 👇
0 Comments